How Do You Make Joe Mercola Look Smart?

By Josh Bloom — Jan 10, 2017
As if there aren't enough nuts out there ranting about crystals or Ouija boards, it's time to welcome The Alternative Daily. The guys writing for this website make Joe Mercola sound smart, which is roughly equivalent to climbing Mt. Everest with a Steinway grand piano on your back. 

Answer: It's not easy. But it is possible. You just have to know where to look.

For example, the Cleveland Clinic might be a good place to start your search. 

 

Or, if you have a strong stomach, there's always Dr. Oz. (Extra benefit! If a couple of you decide to watch, I'm sure he would appreciate his audience doubling.)

But, we have a new contender, and a damn fine one at that—a website called Alternative Daily. 

Whoever started up this site bought a one-way ticket on the Crazyville Express. And it doesn't take long to notice. Here's the first article I ran into:  Who would have possibly imagined that a sock full of salt would cure an earache? Well, these jokers do, and it is described in exquisite detail in "Beat Ear Pain With This Strange Salt Sock Remedy." 

The insane looking graphics at the top of the article should immediately tip you off.

Yeah- This is gonna work. Source: http://www.thealternativedaily.com/salt-sock-remedy-for-ear-pain/

OK, if your ear is that color skip the salt. All you really need is the socks, which you will put on your feet and walk to the Emergency Room. Except, they will most likely have no idea what to do, because aside from maybe the bar scene from Star Wars, and the critter below, ears aren't that color.

A Tasmanian Devil. No Sea Salt Sock Required. Photo: Wallpapers

The site's recipe for how to make the sock is nothing if not descriptive:

1. "Gather the sock and the sea salt." (Warning: Don't try this with non-sea salt. Your spleen will fall out.)

2. "Measure the 1 1/2 cups of sea salt into a measuring sup." (Every kitchen should have one of these. Measuring cups just don't do the job. And I can't help but wonder what would happen if you used 1 3/4 sups)

3. Pour salt into the toe of the sock. (No instructions are given for this. You are on your own.)

4. Tie a double knot on the top of the sock. (What kind of knot? Bowline? Half-hitch? Square? How about a little guidance here?)

At this point, it looks like this:

Alternate Daily's high tech medical device

5. "Heat the sock in a clean skillet over medium heat for 4 to 6 minutes. Pick it up, shake it and flip it over every few minutes to heat evenly. Heat until very warm. Make sure to check how hot it is on your own skin — especially before using it on a child. You don’t want it to burn but it needs to be warm enough to get relief from the pain." (And I thought my cooking sucked)

6. Place the sock over your ear and behind your jaw bone. Leave for a few minutes until the pain is gone. (This must be a typo. Clearly "minutes" should read "decades," or however long it takes you to die, at which point the pain will be gone)

The site isn't really all that amusing. It's standard quackery, and then some. And it could be dangerous to follow their advice.

You can detox your liver with Chilean boldo tea. Of course, your liver does not need any cleansing, since it is perfectly designed to do this on its own. Any time you hear word "cleansing," turn around and run. Then when you get there, keep going. This ridiculous fad is medically nonsensical, and harmful. The most popular organ to cleanse is the colon. Bad idea. Not only do colon cleanses have no medical benefit, but they are dangerous; people have died from this procedure. 

Alternative Daily also claims that this tea can treat:

  • Indigestion 
  • Inflammation
  • Infection (1)
  • Joint pain
  • Immune system issues
  • And it can make you pee: "Adequate frequency of urination can help to regulate blood pressure, enhance appetite, aid digestion and prevent the formation of gases in the gastrointestinal tract." Ugh.

That tea must be some badass stuff. How can you top that? Well, maybe you can—with copper bracelets.

Copper bracelets??? Didn't those go out with disco?  Apparently not:

"[promotes] better digestion, aids in weight loss, speeds healing and slows the process of aging. It also maintains cardiovascular health and lowers blood pressure, kills bacteria and even fights cancer." (more ugh)

There is also a feature about whether drinking your own urine is a good idea. I did not have the stomach to check this out, but I can safely say that it's a better idea than drinking someone else's urine.

These guys should really put a sock in it.

 

Josh Bloom

Director of Chemical and Pharmaceutical Science

Dr. Josh Bloom, the Director of Chemical and Pharmaceutical Science, comes from the world of drug discovery, where he did research for more than 20 years. He holds a Ph.D. in chemistry.

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